Restart My Heart
by MaddyLovesL
Summary: The grated breathing. The drip of the IV. Neji was in critical condition. Yet Sasuke couldn't help but be reminded of a porcelain doll, long lashes, pale onion thin skin, long dark hair. He was beautiful. SasuNeji.
1. Chapter 1

Neji was so tired. His lids were heavy... The traffic and the lights and sounds around him were blurring.

'No... Wake _up!'_

Just a little bit longer.. Nearly home... Nearly there... Nearly home... Nearly... Nearly...

Oh god, it was snowing.

Neji liked the snow. Liked the snow when he was in bed, tucked up with a hot water bottle and an interesting, philosophical book... Not in a car... A car in which he was slowly falling unconscious.

A car horn.

Screeching.

Crashing.

The sickening thud of metal colliding with wood. Splintering.

Neji flew forwards.

_Drip._

_ Drip._

_ Drip._

_ A coughing sound. _

_ And then there was silence._

_*_

The sound of breathing machines. They were terrifying.

Each horrible, grated breath. Each time there was a silence, and you waited, holding your own breath, for another ragged metallic sounding breath to be heard.

Sasuke Uchiha sat next to one of his friends, who was now lying wired in to a breathing machine, nasty plastic tubes sticking to his chest. Something similar to an inhaler attached to his face. His hair fanned out on the cheap cotton sheets, which incidentally smelt strongly of disinfectant, creating a striking contrast. His face was extremely pale, on account of having lost so much blood.

An IV was sticking into a blue vein very visible now, transmitting blood when needed.

Sasuke had been more than shocked when he found out that Neji had crashed head long into a tree, obviously having skidded on the ice. That moron. He had alerted the rest of their friends, who had all come along to see if Neji's condition had stabilized. Of course they were only greeted with the sounds of that breathing machine. That terrible grating sound. Sasuke could clearly picture Shikamaru's pale shocked face, breaking out into a cold sweat. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy. He was Neji's ex boyfriend. Neji had ended it. Nobody was ever quite sure why, but there had been rumors of Shikamaru always disappearing somewhere or other. Of course he would feel guilty now.

Sasuke held his breath for a moment when Neji's grating breathing paused. He exhaled again when it resumed.

He could see Neji's eyes moving behind his lids. Rapid Eye Movement.

The poor guy was dreaming. Of what, Sasuke wondered idly.

Unconsciously Sasuke couldn't help noticing just how long and thick Neji's lashes were. They were so black, such a contrast again to his very pale face.

A nurse came in shortly to change the IV.

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched in annoyance as he watched her dislodge Neji's hand from his chest.

The pale, elegant hand fell lifelessy to the floor.

Once Sasuke was sure the nurse had gone, he carefully, ever so carefully held Neji's hand in his own two, slightly larger ones, and replaced it carefully, ever so carefully back to Neji's chest.

Neji was so fine boned. Sasuke couldn't help but be scared of breaking him, like a porcelain doll his mother had once owned.

He remembered clearly how he had reached up just to look, had held it, and had stupidly dropped it. He still remembered looking at the smashed face, the beady eyes rolling around on the floor. The long thick, curly brown hair completely ruined. His mother had been so angry.

A mumble from Neji shook him from his musing.

"F... Fa..... ther... F..."

Sasuke's eyes widened partially but he quickly regained control.

Neji's father had died in some accident. Very young, only about twenty-seven he had heard.

What was it now? A sky-diving accident? No, no.

Oh yes. He had fallen in to a lake hadn't he? And he had drowned.

Sasuke inwardly recoiled. He remembered as a boy he had once fallen down a well.

To say the least, the experience has left him claustrophobic.

"P... P... Pl.. Ease."

Sasuke glanced back at Neji. His face was shiny with a cold sweat.

"Don't."

"Stop."

Neji was shaking.

Quite how he was able to move his mouth with oxygen being pumped through a tube down his throat, Sasuke didn't know.

Tears were forming at the corners of Neji's eyes.

He trembled like a flower in a strong summer's breeze might.

'He's having some sort of breakdown... A fit maybe.'

Sasuke gazed helplessly down at the quaking form.

What should he do? Shit. What should he _do_?!

"No... Stop... D-don't... K-kill him... S-stop."

Make him relax, make him relax.

Without thinking properly Sasuke seized Neji's hands, and rubbed soothing circles over the back of his hands.

"Shhh... Shhh..." His mother had used to do this when he had a nightmare.

"It's fine... Everything's fine.. Shhh..."

Still the tears leaked.

Shit.

"Neji... Neji... Shh. It's OK, everything is OK, nobody's going to kill him, I _promise_."

Neji's face seemed to contort. The expression softened up. The lashes no longer became soaked with tears. Neji's form stopped shaking. His hands stopped twitching.

He looked so... Serene. So innocent. So untouched. So utterly, beautiful.

Sasuke slowly, very slowly, bent down his head, his hair falling to hide his face.

Slowly, so slowly..

He could count every one of Neji's eyelashes by now.

Sasuke slowly cautiously removed the inhaler-like instrument. Assured, that this seemed to do Neji no harm, he slowly lowered his head.

He could count every tear clinging to Neji's lashes.

Neji's lips were soft, just like velvet. They were slightly cold, just like Sasuke imagined his mother's porcelain doll's lips might be.

*

"What the _fuck_ are you doing, Sasuke?!" An all too familiar voice drifted through Sasuke's foggy mind.

**This is a request fic =) As a general thing ^^SasuNeji is actually a blast fomr the past for me xD**


	2. Chapter 2

Sasuke had snapped upright, backing away from the sleeping Neji.

"Shikamaru."

"I said, what the hell are you doing?!"

Sasuke couldn't really say he thought that the sleeping man beside them was beautiful, could he?

"None of your business."

"I think it is. Friends are meant to be hitting on their friend ex-boyfriends now are they?"

Sasuke hated the fact that Shikamaru did have a point. Stupid genius.

"Fine. I'm giving him the support you never did."

Sasuke could see Shikamaru's eyes widen in... What? Hurt? Anger?

"Shut up, Uchiha. We were perfectly happy together. I was doing brilliantly with him... That is..."

Shikamaru seemed to re-think what he was about to say.

"That is... What?" Sasuke repeated.

"Nothing, like it's any of your business, the main thing is, is that you are obviously mad, seeing as I've just caught you kissing an unconscious man, who might have died, and he probably won't ever know about you kissing him, which makes it even more abnormal, may I point out."

"What's it to you?" Sasuke asked nicely. To be completely honest, Sasuke really couldn't see what it had to do with him. I mean, it wasn't as if they were an item. And it wasn't as if Sasuke had raped him or anything. Sasuke just happened to find, that particular Hyuuga anyway, absolutely gorgeous. What could Shikamaru say against that? Unless of course the Nara still had feelings for Neji, despite having lost him by himself, which was after all his fault.

Shikamaru could lie. Could lie. But... What good would it do? That Uchiha bastard was bound to see through it anyway.

"I still love him. Which is more than can be said for _you_." Shikamaru spat out the last word in disgust.

"Hn." Shikamaru could have killed him.

"Then why did Neji split up with you if you had such a perfect relationship, huh? I mean, we've all heard the rumours about that Temari woman. Don't even think about pretending. What the hell were you thinking?"

Shikamaru didn't seem to be effected by this.

"Oh, that. That's just a rumour I spread about. I mean the real reason is worse."

"Why would could you possibly have done which could've been worse?"

Something exploded inside of Shikamaru.

"You. You happened, alight? Neji... He..." Shikamaru broke off here, looking over to the sleeping figure on the bed, the beeping had not stopped, if anything it seemed louder in the sudden silence. "... He... He fell completely, utterly, head over heels, heels over head, in love with someone."

Sasuke's chest tightened considerably. God, that hurt.

_Drip._

_ Drip..._

_ Beep.._

_ Beep._

_ Drip... _

_ '_Who... Who.. could Neji have fallen in love with? Who? Who could be so special?'

"Shikamaru." Sasuke uncharacteristically, lay his hand consolingly on the Nara's slightly trembling shoulder.

Shikamaru pushed him away roughly.

"Don't..." his voice was dripping with venom "Don't, _you_ dare touch me."

"Would you like to know, who the stupid, ignorant, thick headed man was and still is? You think you can actually handle it after kissing him?"

Sasuke made no move to reply.

"It was _you_. _You. _And you never even _noticed_ him! How could you? And now, when he's lying sleeping, near death on a hospital bed, now, you notice him?! What does it take to get you attention?! A near-fatal accident. You are bad for people."

Sasuke felt extremely stung, more so than he cared to admit.

'Me... Why? What's so special about me? Me? Me? Me. Me. Me. Bad for people?'

Groaning started both men out of their apparently unconscious staring contest.

Neji's eyes were flickering... Slowly, very slowly the opened.

"Neji!" Shikamaru breathed out a sigh of relief he had been holding on to for the last two or three hours.

He ran over to the bed, seizing Neji's small, petite hand in two of his own, much larger hands.

Sasuke watched as Shikamaru's eyes watered slightly, and watched now, as Neji smiled up at the Nara.

Neji slowly, very slowly turned his head.

The world as Sasuke knew it, stopped spinning, stopped holding him to earth, sent him tumbling, tumbling into a whole new dimension filled with wide, beautiful eyes, long lashes, and Neji. Just Neji. Neji. Neji. Neji.

"Neji."

The coldness in his voice stung Neji terribly. 'Sasuke... you don't change. Still you haven't noticed me. Not even as I lie here, completely broken.'

"S.. as... Sasuke."

Something in Sasuke's eyes broke. They ice which has frozen his stare over. The ice shattered, fell away, they watered slightly. But never, did they spill one tear.

Neji noticed. Neji was shocked.

Nothing else seemed very important to Neji anymore, Shikamaru bending over him, kissing his forehead, was just a side-show. Sasuke's eyes were glistening. Glistening with tears, that would never, at this rate be shed. Tears which would never, ever tell a story.

Sasuke coughed, slightly awkwardly.

"Shikamaru..."

Shikamaru looked up at Sasuke. Something in the Nara's eyes remained steely, unwelcoming, and frightfully cold.

"I guess, I'd better be going, and uhh, I'll just leave you two to it. You obviously have matters that need to be addressed and discussed."

Neji struggled to lift himself from his pillows, as he watched Sasuke's broad back retreating.

"N-no... Wait... S-Sasuke... Wait..."

But Sasuke did not hear him.

He did not hear him because he didn't want to stay there. He didn't hear him because Neji's voice was so pathetic, and so weak and feeble, that ever a cricket could have made more noise if it tried. He didn't hear him because Shikmaru silenced Neji's pleas, by coughing very loudly.

Sasuke did not hear Neji, because he was blinded by the tears which had threatened to pour, and which were now streaming down his face, some falling to the ground. Sasuke did not hear Neji, because as usual there was something much bigger going on, which revolved around Sasuke. But, unlike all the other times during which Sasuke had cried, this time it was not just about something which had annoyed him, which has pissed_ him _off, which had made _him _upset. This time, the center of what was going on, was just... Neji.

**AN: I hope this was okay!!! =D I wrote this in a little tinsy bit of a hurry ^^ But I still hope it was good for you =) Now I am off to town! WOHOO~! (constructive criticism is very much appreciated.)**


	3. Chapter 3

Sasuke had never really been a nostalgic person. Completely the opposite.

Usually.

Up until now.

But there was something about hospitals. Sitting there, knowing that there are operations, transplants, surgery.. Dying going on around you.

Then there are the children.

Children with cancers of various types.

Abused children.

Handicapped children.

Children in wheel chairs.

Then there were girls.

Eating disorders.

Bones jutting out from their sides, thin, gaunt faces, hair which fell from their heads, lashes that came out so easily, brittle bones, no chest to speak of, sick.

Bulimics.

Bags of vomit being carried from rooms.

Red raw knuckles.

Decaying teeth.

Oesophagus torn.

Pneumonia.

Sasuke shifted.

Then there were the accidents.

Broken backs.

Broken necks.

Sasuke was thankful, Neji had not been so badly hurt.

"You can see him now."

Sakura stood in front of Sasuke, hands clasped around a clipboard, her hair coming out of some sort of bun. Her eyes looked tired.

Sasuke stood.

"Sasuke."

"Yeah?" He turned to look back at her.

"Have you thought about flowers?"

Sasuke suddenly felt guilty. Shikamaru had been bringing Neji anything, books, Neji's art folders, flowers, food Neji was partial to, Neji's shampoo, his razor, his clothes...

"Turn down that corridor, to your left."

Sakura smiled brightly, a smile which did not meet her eyes.

"I don't want you to end up completely unhappy."

And then she was gone, he shoes, tocking along the tiles.

Sasuke released a breath he did not know he had been holding. His chest relaxed, his hair fluttered briefly in front of his eyes, only to relax against his temples again.

The shop was weird. There was a tension in the air, as people sought to find suitable gifts. All of them had harassed looks on their faces. Their eyes were circled with dark rings. Sasuke wondered interestedly, if he looked something like this. Worry lines forming on his brow, lips drawn downwards by some pull stronger than gravity. Dark, dark circles under the eyes, making them look like some epitome of the term 'worried utterly sick'.

Yes, Sasuke was worried. About something other than himself.

A lilac colour snagged his eye. It stood out rather than faded away. The lilac was delicate and looked like Neji's eyes. The petals peeked timidly outwards, while the bottom petal curled back in to itself, as though shy. It was just like Neji. Subtle. But...

"May I help you?"

A cheerful saleswoman bustled up to Sasuke.

His throat felt like sandpaper.

Neji...

"I..."

Neji...

He gestured helplessly towards the lilac petals.

"Oh, I see, I'll get them for you shall I?"

Sasuke nodded weakly.

Neji...

_"It was you. You. And you never even noticed him! How could you? And now, when he's lying sleeping, near death on a hospital bed, now, you notice him?! What does it take to get your attention?! A near-fatal accident. You are bad for people."_

Sasuke felt his throat narrow uncomfortably.

His eyes were watering somewhat.

it was just the pollen.

**...**

The door in front of Sasuke was wooden. Not anything great. Not special. But... Suddenly it felt like this door led to something Sasuke would love to see, but at the same time, would rather rip his guts out than have to see again. Burying his head in the sand. Turning the other way. Looking away. When all Neji needed was some sort of support. And here Sasuke was, too scared to turn the handle to that world. That world of pain, of twisted emotions, of jealousy, and heartbreak. Of ignorance. And all because of him.

Sasuke's hand had a life os its own.

The door opened.

Sasuke was waiting for something dramatic to happen. A ray of light to come pouring from the room.

Nothing.

Just the expected beeping of the machines. And the grated breathing.

Accompanied by the dripping of the IV.

A melancholic, depressing symphony.

Cautiously Sasuke walked in to the room. Expecting Shikamaru to jump out at him and shout at him again.

Nothing.

Neji was the same. A doll.

It was strange. Neji looked smaller than Sasuke remembered. His frame had shrunk even more. Sasuke moved until his thigh brushed the bed. He looked dead. The only real indication he was alive was the constant beeping, the grated breath, the slow, erratic movements of Neji's chest. His face. His face was so white.

Silence.

It shouldn't be that loud.

Neji's lashes were fluttering.

REM.

Rapid Eye Movement.

What people did when the dreamed.

At least... Sasuke hoped, it might be a good dream.

Unlike the last one.

...

From a bird's eye view, we see the boy with raven locks move closer. Unlike before he makes no attempt to try anything.

Instead he watches.

Maybe he waits.

Outside the evening bird calls, they begin. The silence is filled.

Until the sun sets, that is.

...

"Neh, Sasuke, it seems to me that all you seem to do it stay here... But why is it you only come when Neji sleeps?"

Sleeps.

"Neh, Sasuke?"

Sasuke walks.

"Hey, what's with the attitude?! Hey, Sasuke-moron, DON'T ignore me!!! SASUKE!!!"

...

"Sasuke-kun, Neji-kun, he's not asleep."

Sasuke nods.

"Is the Nara with him?"

Sakura avoids his eyes. Instead she takes a sudden interest in her finger nails.

"Then.. He is."

And Sasuke walks away, shoving the bouquet at Sakura, who once again, leaves them for Neji, in a vase.

...

"Shit."

Neji was stirring.

A groan.

"... H-head..." He raised a frail arm to clutch at it.

Sasuke quickly moved to fetch a damp cloth.

He pressed it urgently to Neji's forehead.

"Is that better?"

Neji knew that voice.

He stared up at dark eyes.

"S-Sasuke..."

Sasuke nodded.

"That's me."

"Shika.. Maru... He... Said."

Sasuke stiffened.

"I'm sorry." He offered it stupidly. What else was he meant to say?

"Don't be."

And even though Neji's voice was hoarse, it did not falter.

"Thanks."

A silence stretched between them, as Sasuke dabbed gently, tenderly at Neji's forehead.

"Sasuke."

"Hnn..."

Sasuke was concentrating on not looking at Neji.

"Look at me."

How could he resist?

Their eyes locked.

Mauve. Obsidian.

So different.

But the connected. Like the rain, and the sun. And even though they are opposite, when they are put together...

"Kiss me."

Sasuke obliged.

They create a rainbow.

Kissing Neji. It was lovely.

It felt strange sometimes. After all kissing your friends... Wasn't that one of things not ever to do in life?

But it was zingy. Electric. Tangy. His toest tingled, and the tingles travelled up through his body, up his spine, all the way to tickle the back of his ears.

But it was natural.

Despite being odd.

As natural as presents every Christmas, as beautiful as July rain, as beautiful as the sea during a storm or..

Sasuke didn't really give a damn.

Who cared?

Kissing Neji...

It was stunning.

And sometimes.

If Sasuke wasn't careful, his heart would leap in to the air.

Leaving Sasuke completely dizzy.


End file.
